Running From

What am I running from?

I may spend my down-time in the comfort of a cozy armchair and be running from. I may be immersed in my chosen career and be running from. I may be living a dream life I’ve planned for and or have stumbled into—here it is! I’m living it! And I’m running from.

Is it a fear or a judgement someone cast on me? A shadow from my past that taunts me (and always at just the right-wrong time) or a view of myself that I just can’t shake? Some old scar from a wound inflicted at the hands of another? Even a misconception that holds little truth, in reality, but in my mind . . . oh, its gospel truth.

“Running from” feels like the right move at the time but no matter how fast or how far I run that thing is still there when I look behind me. Thats because running from isn’t a permanent solution. Separation from, getting some distance between me and that “thing” can be good in the short term. Like I should run from a roaring lion to save myself, right? I’ve put distance between me and that thing so I have the time and space to think and pray about my next move. Or I create time and space to ignore and deny and block out that it’s even there.

When the time is right, when I’m exhausted from running, when I am willing to look at that old shadow and shine a light on it, then I will be able to flip the tables and begin running to. Yes, to as in towards. Having a safe and trusted friend at hand is a good thing in that moment. Not just to unload my darkness upon but to be fortified by. Someone who might say, hey, let’s talk about it. Let’s look at it together in a different light, from a different angle. So, note to self, stop running from. Take a breath, sit a spell and realize that “running to” might just end the ongoing running away from.

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